Gospel Fighting

The Gospel makes a difference in our relationships. If we’re living with people we’re experiencing conflict. Think of a recent conflict.

There are basically two ways people respond to conflict.

1. Attack – Tiger
You deal with anger or frustration by ‘venting’ it.
You argue your case passionately
You ask questions like ‘How do you know?’ and ‘Can you prove that?’
You want to fight until the fight is over.
You cross-examine like a lawyer in order to ‘get to the heart of the conflict.’
Winning the argument is more important than loving the opponent.
You turn the argument to focus on the other person, even if it began with you as the focal point.

2. Withdraw – Turtle
You deal with anger or frustration by suppressing it.
You have opinions but keep them to yourself in order to ‘keep the peace.’
You ask questions like, ‘Do we have to talk about this now?’ and ‘Does it really matter?’
You’d rather avoid a fight than win one.
You sometimes physically leave an argument in order to ‘get some space.’

These responses are typical and ‘natural,’ but we should ask if they are biblical. How do we move toward resolving conflict in a biblical manner?

Bible Background:
The early church included Jews and Gentiles
The Jewish Christians imported some of their traditional practices into their worship of Jesus. The Gentiles had no allegiance to Jewish customs like circumcision or dietary laws.
Peter, a Jew, understood the gospel well enough to embrace the new Gentile believers with no strings attached. Acts 10:9-48
But his application of the gospel was tested when he found himself in mixed company.
Some important Jewish leaders came to Antioch and Peter began to separate himself from the Gentile believers.
His hypocrisy was even leading others astray (Barnabas).

Read Galatians 2:11-14

Gospel – The third way of the gospel
A. The Gospel brings Humility
He didn’t withdraw and avoid the confrontation
Paul was motivated by the defense of the gospel
He could have been personally offended because of the effort he’d put into being with Gentiles.
His concern for the gospel outweighed the temptation to either attack or withdraw
He gave Peter an opportunity to respond to honest questions
Paul was not self-interested or self-defensive. Pride is the enemy of humility.

B. The Gospel brings Courage
He didn’t attack him by gossiping about him or slandering him
He went to him in public because it was a public sin. Private sins should be handled in private.
He presented the issue plainly and didn’t add drama to the details.
He wasn’t afraid of what people would think. Fear is the enemy of courage.

This gospel-centered confrontation mirrors God’s movement toward us in the gospel.

God did not pour his wrath (attack) or remove his presence (withdraw). He sacrificially moved toward us in the person of Jesus, full of grace and truth, courage and humility.

Jesus confronted sin, invited relationship, and provided a way of reconciliation. We have a proper motivation (love), confidence (faith), and means for resolving conflict (grace and truth).

Individual Application - Gospel Fighting

1. HUMILITY: Confess your Sin

• When faced with conflict, do you usually attack or withdraw? Do you tend to be defensive, blame others, or always think you are right (attack)? Or do you tend to boil with anger inside, gossip, or avoid confrontation (withdraw)?
• Why are you an attacker OR withdrawer? What’s the deeper sin beneath the sin?
• Spend a few moments silently confessing your sin of either attacking (self-righteousness & pride) or withdrawing (insecurity & fear). Confess how you have failed to really believe the gospel during conflict.

2. COURAGE: Affirm your Faith

• Prayerfully acknowledge what drives your attacking or withdrawing. Are you concerned with: losing face, being wrong, disrupting the peace, other’s approval, etc? By faith, affirm your trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to free you from these sins of pride and fear.
• Communicate to those involved in the conflict that you want to seek resolution.
• Confess your sin. How have you sinned against the other person?
• Talk honestly and respectfully about your thoughts and feelings, and be sure to give them an opportunity to do the same.
• Listen. Do you understand each other? It’s a good idea to say, “This is what I’m hearing you say… is that right?”
• What will it cost each person to resolve the conflict? What steps must be taken toward resolution?
• Pray for God’s will to be done. Thank Jesus for his willingness to pay the ultimate price of death to resolve the ultimate conflict of our sinful rebellion.